What resolution?
I am genuinely laughing my ass off at this moment. How could I possibly create a New Years resolution when I cannot manage to post to my blog more than once every two and a half months?
Believe me, it’s not for lack of trying. Baby brain has just stuck around a lot longer than normal this time. I promised updates sans baby, so I must deliver.
To do so, I’ll go back and let out some steam re: Albertson’s Douche Bag Clerk. I saw him again and narrowly escaped his checkout line over the holiday week and it reignited my desire to out him on my blog.
This jerk liked commenting on my unseasonably warm apparel. It was a cold(ish) October night. I had on jeans, t-shirt, thick Columbia jacket, beanie, scarf and some Wellies.
Let’s just pause right here, because Oregonians lurrrve their weather-gear. I’ve seen peeps rolling around Portland in rain gear or Uggs and scarves as soon as the clouds come through at the end of summer. So, my choice of clothing in October was modest all things considered.
I’ll start by breaking down the offending get up:
Jeans: totally normal
T-shirt: a little chilly for a t-shirt, hence
Jacket: right now all I have save for one sweatshirt (okay, okay- its been four years since I left California, I need to remember the benefit of layers and long sleeves here in Oregon)
Scarf: Was really more of one of those hipster-y scarves, not really a warmth generator
Wellies: My dog walking shoes, already had mud from some earlier rain.
Beanie: My hair looked like shit. No, really, like shit.
Ok, there you have it. Not a biggie. Not like I showed up in snow bib, gloves and ski mask. I didn’t go running around the house grabbing every warm item owned because I was cold. It was all circumstantial.
Back to Douche Bag Clerk.
My biggest problem with this guy (aside from the fact that he once denied me alcohol and then I had to leave the store so my husband could purchase it) is that every time I end up in his line he starts popping off with the comments. Like that night:
DBC: “A little early to be dressed that warm, huh?”
Me: “Uh, what?” (why is this ass talking to me?)
DBC: “If you think its cold now, just wait until Winter starts”
Me: “Actually, I’m not cold” (why I am even responding?)
DBC: “What’s with the boots and hat then?”
Me: “Walking my dog, you know, mud” (you’re that grinch who wont sell me wine!)
DBC: “Well then what’s with the jacket and scarf? You know it’s not even cold now, you’re gonna be sorry in a couple of months”
Me: “Look, ass face, you’re carrying an extra two Michelin’s around your middle, your blood may be running a little warmer than others.” (Yeah, that last part was in my head as I walked out with my groceries, but it was a good one, huh?)
At what point did customer service oriented chatter cross the line into banter? I can’t stand Albertson’s anyway, and their clerks are the absolute worst. Albertson’s is just unreasonably close to my home for last-minute things. So seriously, why are clerks chatting up patrons like this? Just say hi, smile, take my money and pack my shit up without cracking my eggs!
Now that I’ve hashed that out. I’ll find more non-baby related things to share.
Oh yes, resolution. No fast-food. Like, ever. On top of a million other “sounds good” ideas, like updating the blog. I’ll share them with you here. Be back in two months. ;)
